


ok ok?

by eboybh



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: First Kiss, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 08:57:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eboybh/pseuds/eboybh
Summary: « would you be mad? »« about what? »« if i kissed you »





	ok ok?

silence. it was thick. building. it felt like walls were built around the two. it felt as if the whole world disappeared. if it had, they wouldn’t notice. all billy could think about was the way steve looked at him with fearful eyes. he looked like a puppy

« would you be mad? » steve stated. his mouth was dry. cotton. like waking up when you fell asleep with your mouth open. 

« about what? » billy replied. something about the way steve looked at him gave him a hint. billy felt static when steve’s hand touched his thigh. lower thigh. near his knee. it felt intimate still. it wasn’t what he was looking for but it was what he needed. 

« if i kissed you, » steve leaned closer. there was still enough space for billy to back out if he wanted to. he did want to. he felt his fingers itch to just punch him. maybe call him a slur or two. the ones his dad used against him. 

« no, » he didn’t know why he said it. he felt like every cell was screaming for him to stop. he needed to run away and leave this shit hole. he knew what would happen if he was caught so why was he risking it?

« would you like it? » with how much steve was asking, billy had plenty of chances to back away. say no. but his skin was itching. it was too much. his mind forced him to feel holes burning in his back. scalding. scarring. 

it has to be fake. a dream. he’ll wake up and see himself alone in his room with music playing quietly. he can forget this happened. refuse it happened. 

but he wasn’t waking up. he wasn’t in his room. he wasn’t alone. he was stuck here with steve harrington 

« yes, » billy nearly cried when he felt steve’s lips press against his. his eyes were glued open. steve’s were shut. contrary to popular belief, billy’s never kissed anyone properly. a couple girls kissed him before but he never kissed back. he’d push them away and claim they weren’t his type. 

it was awkward. billy was slow to kiss back. he was still suspicious of everything. every couple seconds he’d glance at the window, door, even closet. nothing. 

« what’s wrong? » billy wasn’t expecting steve’s voice. it nearly broke him. he felt static erupt on his neck as steve touched it softly. shivers ran down his spine but he was quick to tense up again. 

« what? » billy mumbled. he couldn’t help but focus on the buzzing against his spine. he felt like he was going to erupt. he craved more of what steve was giving him. he itched for steve’s lips to press against his. 

« you’re not enjoying it, » steve looked at billy with genuine concern. billy wasn’t used to that look but he still recognized it. 

« yeah i am, » billy couldn’t help but deny it. he wasn’t ready to spill his whole life story and reveal why he was scared to kiss steve. 

« you’re not acting like it though. if you want me to stop you can tell me, » steve’s voice was soft. as if billy would break if he rose it. he probably would. steve’s hand moved from the back of billy’s neck to his hair, twirling it between his fingers and accidentally pulling it a couple times. 

« it’s just.. i’ve never done this before, » billy’s voice quivered. his hands found their way to steve’s thighs and he balanced himself. steve looked down at billy’s hands before looking back up. 

« kissing a boy? » 

billy shook his head. 

steve looked confused for a moment before saying a quiet ‘oh’ and looking back down at billy’s hands. they were shaking. 

« have you ever.. kissed a guy, » billy mumbled. he felt like if he said it too loud, god would strike him dead right there. steve chuckled and put his hand over billy’s. 

« me and tommy h kissed when we were drunk once. he kept on saying it was an accident, but you can’t accidentally make out with someone, » steve laughed. billy did too. they were stuck in silence again but it was less tense this time. billy felt less stared at. 

« why were you dating nancy then? you’re.. gay, » billy felt another strike of fear run through him but nothing happened. 

« well, i like guys and girls. i don’t know what it is or why i do i just... do, » steve smiled and looked at billy. they looked at each other for a while. 

« can i kiss you? » it was quiet but billy still felt like it sounded desperate. steve laughed and pressed his forehead to billy’s. 

« sure. »


End file.
